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  1. I have had that exact experience! After falling, I find myself accusing, condemning and despising myself as if, if I did it enough I could atone for my sins. But a wise Shalom member once told us, “there is nothing you can do to make God love you more”. And another wise friend told me that God is very aware of my struggles, even the most embarrassing and vile ones, but still Loves me immensely that even while I was a sinner he died for me (Rom 5:8). If God loved me so much even as a wretched sinner, then best thing I can do is see myself as a God’s beloved and trust in his ability to save me just like a child trusts in its parents for its protection and nourishment. Thank you for sharing your story! Shalom!