On the day of Divine Mercy, on April 8th, 2018, I entered the Discipleship of Shalom Catholic Community: “The Discipleship is the period in which the candidate is accepted on the path of formation in the community. This stage has a minimum duration of two years and must be marked by deepening in the spiritual and vocational life.”
What does all this mean? In concrete terms it means living an ordinary life in an extraordinary way, that is, out of the ordinary. It means being in the family, having friends and going out, studying, working, all this while having God at my side – in the Poverty of being in the hands of God, firmly believing that all my life is guided by His Will, in Chastity in knowing no to what does not give me Happiness and yes to the Dignity of being a daughter and woman of God, in obedience to humility of heart and transparency of life, and therefore to have Holy relationships with everything and every person. It also means having to answer “uncomfortable” questions like “So you want to become a nun?” or “Sorry, but if you have to live chastity and do not want to be a nun, can you not marry?!” or difficult questions like “What does it mean to be missionary?“. It means having to deal with the gaze of people trying to understand what drives a young woman to give her life to God, if I have some mental problem or if I am running away from the “common life“.
The answer to all this is summarized in one word, true more than ever, sweet in its bitterness, total in its fullness and concreteness: Love. Yes, Love. The Authentic one. What is Everything, even in nothingness. Yes, I found my vocation in Love. Love that gives everything, holds nothing and no one for itself: to be the Love as Jesus was, with the Grace of God. This is what makes me Happy.
Madness? Definitely. Love is also this. The folly of consuming for Love to God in my daily life. The folly of making “I” die to make Love shine through me.
I live my being a common woman with eyes turned towards Heaven, towards what does not pass, what is Eternal.