“Because You know me, Lord. You know me more than myself.I am known by God, I am loved by God. He is the reason and meaning of my life”
My name is Paula, I am a Brazilian missionary of Shalom Catholic Community living in Toronto for the past 4 years. When I look back I just can’t help being amazed by the love that has always surrounded me.
I was raised Catholic but with no big faith. My family’s faith in God, as like many others, was connected with our success and well being. If everything was going well then our relationship with God was well too, which meant that our church attendance went according to our mood. It was usually an obligation and not seen as a moment to receive God’s grace
In reality, I knew about God but at the time I didn’t know God. I especially did not know that God knew me and that he knew me deeply.
One day I came to know God and I discovered that He knew me and he loved me just as I was (in the same way that he loves me today as I am). He accepted me. He was actually waiting for me for a very long time and I finally came to realize that if I let Him, He would show me everything.
I really don’t know how, neither do I know why. However, I just know that one day I had accepted him and I had let him show me everything; teach me everything about myself, about him, about love and salvation, about life and happiness.
He showed me how he had loved me and he died for me, and that he was risen (and he is risen today) But most importantly that I have risen with him.
His love and acceptance of me, of who I was and of who I am now, his mercy and compassion have conquered my heart.
“He filled my days with endless wonder”
This phrase just pops up in my head and I just remember this song from the movie “Les Miserables” beautifully sung by Anne Hathaway. In this song she sings about this ‘love’ that had filled her days with wonder and expresses how this so called ‘love’ vanished away. You can see how devastated she is and how she still longs for it, how she dreams he will come back to her and how she expects it would change everything.
Well, this made me think and I realized that I was found by this love, the true one, that will not fade away, that will never leave me. This love that will always fill my days with wonder, and with even more, it will fill my days with joy, peace, holiness, happiness, faith, as it has been doing until now and forever.
This love taught me how to love and demanded my life. With love God had given meaning to my life and life to my heart.
I will be ever grateful, and sing to him songs of praise and thanksgiving with my ordinary life.
May He fill each day with his presence until the end of days.
Shalom
Paula Mainardi
Catholic Missionary from Shalom Catholic Community