Sir 3:2-6, 12-14; Ps 128:1-2, 3, 4-5; 1 Jn 3:1-2, 21-24; Lk 2:41-52
The Book of Sirach, from which today’s First Reading is taken, is one of the so-called ‘wisdom books’ in the Bible. It’s packed with practical advice for living a virtuous life—with guidelines that lead those who read to a life that’s fruitful, virtuous, and holy. And today, it encourages us to honor our mom and dad, even when they fall short sometimes.
‘My son, take care of your father… Even if his mind fail, be considerate of him.’ It’s likea lesson about love—free, unconditional love. The truth is, many times, we didn’t receive from our parents what we truly needed. No matter how good they were in carrying out their role as parents (and thank God for everything they’ve done for us!), there’s always some gap, some shortcoming, or some lack of understanding that has an impact in our lives.
But what the Word of God is also telling us, if we read between the lines, is that we are boundlessly capable of loving. And it’s precisely where love is missing that we find an opportunity to ‘create’ or foster love. It’s not because we might not have received that we have nothing to give.
There’s an ‘essential love’ at the core of our being that comes from God, and this love is always available and can always create what doesn’t yet exist within us. Maybe our parents were victims of a shortage or lack of love themselves and didn’t know how to love us better. It wasn’t just their minds that ‘failed’—but their ability to love the way we needed.
Still, instead of ‘passing on’ those wounds by saying, ‘I didn’t receive, so I won’t give’,we’re invited to sow love right where love fell short. Because God created us with an unlimited capacity to love! That’s what’s fascinating in the Second Reading, from the 1st Letter of St. John:
‘Beloved, we are God’s children now (that is, even before we were children of our father and mother, we were children of God!); what we shall be has not yet been revealed. (But) we do know that when it is revealed we shall be like Him.’
Here’s the breakdown: We are not defined by the good or bad upbringing or the ‘good or bad’ love we received from our family, but we are called and destined TO BE WHAT GOD IS. And God is Love! There’s an essential Love, a foundational Love at the very source of our existence! We were created OUT OF love, IN love, and FOR love!
St, John goes on and says: ‘We have confidence in God and receive from Him whatever we ask.’ In other words, we are children of God, and we know that everything we need comes from Him, and He provides it. Even His ‘no’s‘ are actually ‘yeses.’The Heavenly Father takes care of us, and we are safe with Him.
And as we live like Him, in the logic of His generous love, even loving those who seem undeserving of our love, we’re gradually changed into new creatures. ‘What we’ll be hasn’t been revealed, but we do know that we shall be like Him!’
And by the way, the first ones loved without deserving it are us. That’s how we can see new families, holy families coming to life—when we become men and women freed from the conditioning of the past and free to love, not by the standards of our parents or the patterns of the world, but by the measure of Jesus Christ, the measure beyond measure.
One more word, to capture one of the core messages of today’s Gospel: Joseph and Mary lose track of Jesus near the temple, and when they find Him again, He’s sitting among the teachers, ‘spitting wisdom’ among the intellectual and spiritual elite of Jerusalem.
Jesus had a mission, Mary had a mission, and Joseph had a mission. But Jesus makes it clear that a family must be the place where everyone learns to live in the rhythm of God’s Will, and embracing their unique vocation and mission before God and humanity.
‘Mom, Dad, why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?’ In other words, ‘Help me to live out the Father’s Will for me!’
That’s the mission of a family—whether it’s a biological family or a spiritual one like ourcommunity, like the Church. Here, we discern together and help one another to discover and fulfill the Father’s Will!
The dialogue between Jesus and His earthly parents wasn’t centered on whims or hyper-sensitivity, with emotional blackmail our self-repression like, “Oh Mom, Dad, I’ll calm your nerves and your anxiety; from now on I’ll only do what you like”. No, not at all!
Of course, Jesus wasn’t disrespectful and He was certainly grateful for all the love Mary and Joseph had for Him, but He made it clear that a holy family is meant to be the kind of family where each person reveals to the other who they are in the eyes of the Heavenly Father! And where each one pushes the other to embrace God’s Plan with their whole heart.
And when God’s Will is at the center, every single member of a family, of a community, blooms fully: ‘And Jesus advanced in wisdom and age and favor before God and man.’
A brief recap: We can love our parents, our children, our brothers and sisters, even when what comes back from them doesn’t match our expectations. All genuine love comes from God, and every act of love is worthwhile, even when it hurts. Actually, as Mother Teresa of Calcutta used to say, “I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” Don’t hold back your love from those God has placed in your life. Give love generously, and it will multiply!
And finally, a family is the place where we discern and help one another to do God’s Will. It’s not a place for flattery, adulation, or where ‘everyone must agree with me, or else they’ll lose me’! No! A family must be a place where truth and love walk hand in hand, so that we may all become holy, fulfilling the vocation and mission received from God!
New York, Dec 29th, Fr. Cristiano Pinheiro, ShCC – Feast of the Holy Family
