Dear Shalom Family, precious friends from my childhood and more recent wonderful ones, Spiritual Fathers and Mothers in this road, Matthew, my dear boyfriend, and his lovely family, Thank you for being here today on this very special day to me! Today, I made my first definitive decision in life.
After 10 years, having entered in Shalom Catholic Community in April 2008, today, appropriately on Divine Mercy Sunday, the day where Thomas, known as the Doubting Thomas for not believing in Jesus’ Resurrection, and because of this invited by Jesus to have a personal experience with Him by touching His wounds, and followed by one of the most honest professions of faith: “My Lord, and My God”, I unite my heart to Thomas also to say “My Lord, and My God”. Meaning, now more conscious of my weaknesses, my resistance to Christ, to His love, to His way of life, to His constant decision to love me, being persistent with me, and never giving up on loving me, completely grateful and surprised by His unending love, I can say “My Lord, and My God” you overcame all my expectations in life.
Fifteen years ago, I never thought He would transform my plans for life into something so much better that I could have ever dreamed of. I had plans of having a brilliant and successful architecture career, of becoming independent in all areas of my life, having been wounded by love and with broken trust I decided to develop my capacities in a way that was full of pride, not having to depend on anyone, looking for security in a comfortable life, hoping to travel around the whole world looking for something big in life, maybe later getting married, maybe having kids, and maybe making sacrifices for love… I can say today, Oh Lord, Your Mercy came so carefully to my life!
In 2005, after breaking up from a two year relationship in which I had put my expectations, thinking that this would be able to fulfill my desire for love and happiness, such a human thing to do, I ended up frustrated, because indeed, no relationship is able to fulfill us completely. After this experience, I started to look for God more decisively, of course looking for comfort and consolation! And, thank God, having looked before in so many other places, I finally found the perfect fit for my heart that was and is able to fulfill my desire for love and happiness that my humanity desired for so long!
In 2006-2007, I had decided to give it a try, and start the discernment year with Shalom Catholic Community. My intention was not to get in the Community, but just to get to know more the Shalom vocation, and to see for myself if what all the members of Shalom said: “It’s a year to hear God’s voice, to discover what He wants for you, and all His great plans!”. So, in that year of discernment, I went to a weekend retreat in the south of Brazil, and there something completely unexpected happened! While a missionary from Shalom was giving a talk about St Teresa of Avila, one of our Shalom Patrons, he said that she discovered God when she was already in the covent. She had a strong ‘personal experience’ with God and said one of her most famous quotes: “God alone is enough”! I don’t have the perfect words to explain what happened inside me that day, but what I can try to say is that, on that day, God deeply touched my soul, He opened my eyes to Him, to His love, and filled me in such a strong way that maybe I could understand what St Teresa said: “God alone is enough!” This does not mean that people are not important, or that my loved ones do not deserve my trust; on the contrary, I am called to love and trust them all, but having God as the center of my life, giving my first fruits to Him, putting Him as the first place in my life, and doing this concretely in my daily life, having God close to me. What an amazing feeling of freedom, joy, and happiness, I experienced! I found the one I could give everything to, my whole being, without fear, and learning in Him how to love all those around me. Of course, my love is not perfect, as I wish it was, how I wish to love all those near and far from me more. It’s a continuous learning process that will take my whole life!
After this amazing experience with God, I couldn’t hold back anymore, I discovered that happiness has a name, Jesus Christ. My desire was to scream to the whole world: Hey, the love you are looking for in so many people or things, it’s not there, but in Christ! Believe me! Once I used to think like that, and sometimes I still forget, but Jesus is the One that can fulfill you!
Well, for this reason, I decided to join Shalom Community. I could have stayed in Fortaleza, my home city and been a missionary there, but inside me, I felt like I was going to explode if I didn’t announce what I had inside across other borders. I asked the Community to be sent to another mission, and they sent me to Italy, to evangelize the Italians. My mom, like all the Brazilians mothers, almost passed out when I told her about my decision to be a missionary in another country. However, knowing that I was happy and so sure about my decision, even if I was so young, she preferred to trust in God, rather than in her plans for me. I have wise parents! Always willing to let me go when it’s time to go, even in times of trials, as some of you know. I am truly blessed! But, going back to my first missionary experience, where I lived for almost 3 years, no doubt the best years of my life. There I learned the beauty of obedience, chastity, poverty, living in a community with 12 people, with many challenges, but abundant, amazing blessings! I started to learn more about the beauty of sacrificing for love, and I made many good friends! Friends from inside the church, friends from outside the church, and many that came to know how amazing and real God is. One of them is in heaven now, and I am sure he is rejoicing with me today!
After that time, I came back to Brazil, where I stayed as a missionary for 4 years in my hometown. There I had the grace to complete my master’s degree in architecture, and right after that, I asked again to go to another mission. I remember my friends saying: “Come on, Jamille! It’s time to live a regular life, no more traveling!”. Oh gosh! God knows, I tried, but I was not made to live a regular life, and the same burning heart that God freely put inside me to tell the world about His love which is so unknown today, was still on fire. All my authorities in the Community knew that too, and their mature support was so important and constant. I am very thankful for each one of them! Then, I came to the USA in November of 2014. First to start learning English in Michigan, then after 6 months, I was invited by Murielle to come to Boston. How thankful I am for God’s plans in my life through so many people. Here, God has been giving me people who were once strangers that now I can call friends, and surprisingly one of them became my wonderful boyfriend. Also, it was here that God gave me the most challenging time of my life – my dad’s illness. A time to grow deeper in life, especially to grow in love for my family, for God, a time to learn concretely what it means to offer our lives for those we love! Here, God gave me a family that keeps growing, all because God’s love for us is unending and He wants to keep knocking in each one of our hearts, hoping to fulfill His plans for us, that are unbelievably surprising, and amazingly much more that we could ever expect! My plans from 15 years ago were changed to another perspective, God led me to be a missionary architect who travels around the world, now knowing where Love takes place, that happiness has a Name, and I came to understand that my desire to do something big finds its fulfilment in sharing Him with you all, through this piece of my story!
The gospel is honest, and we can trust everything that it says. What I heard from Matthew, not my boyfriend, but the disciple, can prove this: “Everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times more and will inherit eternal life”.
I miss my family very, very much, my lovely father and mother, and how I wish they could be here with me today , but I am certain that our love today is stronger and that their faithful prayers are with me. The gospel proves that today I have received a hundred times more friends and family!
To conclude, as one of our Shalom songs says: “Who am I, God, for you to remember me so much? And surround me with so much affection and protection?” What is your love that never gave up on me? And with patience brought me here to be my spouse through the Shalom Community? Today, God united two things so unequal – me and Him – forever, and I am so thankful to have you here today! Thank you very much! And never forget, God’s love for us is greater than everything, for this, do not be afraid to follow His voice. Shalom!
Boston, April 8th, 2018.
Jamille Cavalcante Lima.
